Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Healing in the Grieving - My Ginger Boys

Yes I'm a Psychic Medium. Yes I can communicate/hear/get messages from those in Spirit because of me having the Amazing abilities of a 5'6” antenna. Grief however, hits me like it does you – hard, fast and hurting.
Last weekend, three weeks after Baby Buddy's and Weasley's passings, I was able to pick up and pack up Buddy's new dish, coat, scarves and toys and put them in a box. I still have yet to be able to put up his collar, harness and leashes. Those things are still outside on the chair just as they were the day after his passing from my washing them. Every evening I know they are out there as I pass on my way back from work, but I don't see them. I try hard not to see them...but I know soon comes the time when I can finally put those in the box too along with his blankies and other things.
Weasley didn't wear a collar. There was never any need as he'd come to me and the rattle of the treat bag faster than you can say Meow any day. He was mummy's boy, always on my pillow at night just above my head until he became so unwell he just needed to rest. My Ginger Tabby Guardian is now resting on the other side with his winter blanket mate. They shared blankets and couch space in winter,s ometimes facing each other but most of the time backs against each other in quiet understanding, paws but no claws.
I've sat on the couch a few rare times since they passed. Buddy's spot was on the couch here in Safari. He'd be up there watching me unless he wanted to play or have tinkle times. He'd then stand up and just give me that look and then tap his paws happily and expectantly.
Tonight however, I was able to sit and truly relax on that couch. I remembered the time in New Hampshire when we ALL crawled onto and into the blankets I put on the couch because the power was out that Thanksgiving weekend. It turns into a bed with a couple of pulls and we all pulled into those blankets that weekend!  Twenty six degrees is a little nippy for any Southern Pup or Fur Cat. We all made space for each other and snugged down at night with extra blankets over ALL of us, cats, dog and me. We kept each other warm. During the day I did my best to do the normal things but we hunkered under blankets, Buddy and cats on the sofa. Me in the chair with two layers of socks and blankets with a cat or two snuggled up close.
Coming back south he laid on that couch being so good for my daughter, her other half and me. He was the best of boys always but on that trip he was Amazing. He did the two thousand plus miles with me up and back down with no frustrations only Love. He'd sniff new places and when my son-in-law took him for potty walks they went off and I knew Buddy was happy by his body language. Up he'd jump on the couch right after his drink of water at the end of his walkie.
So sitting on that empty sofa tonight and relaxing for the first real time while sitting there let's me know I'm healing. I looked around from that perch at my new make shift coffee table and watched Heidiweeness examine my handy work and approve by having a good clean on it first thing. Under two minutes made, that's pretty good for any home to get approval, I thought. My mind went back to all the times he rolled around there where I was sitting, all the times we were cold and I put an extra blanket on him and how he'd go to sleep warmer and relax on there too. I thought of how he'd jump up with a treat every time. He had me SO well trained. 
I'm looking at that sofa now and for three weeks plus it's been fairly tidy, no blankets or coverings all over the place in a pile/nest he'd made. I'd never fuss, but would kid him that he'd just mussed up 20 minutes of making it nice for him. He'd look and me and snitz then finish his handy work of making it a just right little nest.
Yes, I've seen him a few times around and about this home of ours. He's been on a few walks with me. Buddy showed up shortly after he passed laying in the bedroom complete with the tail he'd had amputated 5 years ago this month from an infection. He's shown up at work and had others bring in their dogs to my other job too just after he'd passed. One was even a little black dog, similar to him in size as well as a rescue named Buddy.
Weasley sent me a card of sorts. He's not let me go without his signs either. He's having Weeness do a few things at times. Animals will often have their furry brothers or sisters give them a helping hand with signs and oh he's been up to a few things there. He's also made pictures keep downloading even though the settings aren't supposed to allow that to happen and it's “funny” that they are only photos of him that do it. He's a busy boy too for mum.
Yes I'm healing but I'll admit there have been a few tears whilst writing this about my best golden boys in the Universe.
Weasley's momma was a show cat as was my Buddy boy...The joke is they “showed up.” Buddy was all that I'd asked for in a little dog when I knew Dixxie Marie was going to be crossing. Weasley was every bit my Ginger Guardian of a Tom Tom. Both boys watched out for mum as do their brothers and sisters still on this side.
After five and twelve years respectively how can I not grieve my two ginger boys? Yes I grieve, it's a process we ALL have to endure for those we love in human form as well as furry four legged, or feathered, or scaled. I know since working with those on the other side it takes a little less time. I know, not believe, not feel, but KNOW there is more to life. Even though I know I still want to smell their smells, rub their fur and even have to go out for one more late night tinkle in the cold rain...because of Love.