Saturday, December 13, 2014

Momma's Last Visit

Yesterday marked what would have been my mother's 81st birthday.
        Well over a decade before I had had one of the greatest shocks of my life. It was a lovely June day with cooling rain coming down that morning and the scent of it wafting through the big windows. Because of the rain I had decided to take the day off from outside work and do office paper work. As I sat in my office my mind on getting things done there and around the house the telephone rang. On the other end of the line was a doctor asking me if I was the daughter of Marilyn Brown.
         I hadn't heard my mother's name outside of brief family conversations for almost two decades at that point. In all honesty I thought my mother long dead at that point. To hear this doctor in a little town in New Hampshire ask me was I her daughter sent me reeling, what he would continue to tell me left all thoughts of work far, far behind.
         When I asked him to confirm by description his patient and all the particulars I acknowledged she indeed must be my mother, Marilyn. He told me that she had fallen and broken her hip, and while that would not have been a problem with a healthy individual, she had been suffering from a lung disease for the last decade plus and was on a ventilator as her lungs just couldn't cope with the body trauma. She really had no hope of survival. Every time they tried to take her off the ventilator her vitals began to cascade like dominoes going down a slope. She was in and out of consciousness and was not competent to make a decision regarding her health at this point. She had no one but me to make the ultimate decision – to “pull the plug.”
         I asked the doctor if I had to make the decision immediately or if I had a day or two. To me this was a decision that was going to take a lot of thought and meditation. This person lying there nearly 1200 miles away had birthed me, however I did not know her. It struck me I had no idea what her wishes were on something like this and what she would ultimately want and need I had to be clear within my mind and my heart. This wasn't going to be easy as so much within me was coming through like a bullet train from DC to NY.
         The doctor and I ended our first conversation with my telling him I needed to think about this and would let him know shortly. He told me he would be willing for me to call him at any time to discuss any part of the situation with him. I thanked him and said good-bye.
         After I hung up I called my great aunts and uncles who were all well into their 80's at that time. We discussed what was going on as well as events which until now were not approachable conversationally. These frank talks were vital for me to know fully in my heart I was making the best decision. Much of those conversations were confirmations as well as some revelations in my mother's life. When I had finished with the last call, I went out for a long walk around the neighborhood.
         With each step my mind whirled with past memories. Those memories in conjunction with what I had learned in those much needed conversations needed walking time for me to sort through. Had my mother and I had a relationship of any nature, things would have been different that day. However no communication in nearly twenty years, as well as little the half decade before left my soul needing to sort through so much and in such a short amount of time too.
         My mind wandered to the last time my mother and I had spoken. As I walked down the pavement past the myriad of Victorian homes that was my neighborhood memories of that conversation flowed.
         Momma and I had last spoke nearly twenty years before. Her mental illness had been more than a dark rift between us all during my growing up years and beyond. Flashes of our last conversation played quickly in my mind. It had started out pleasantly enough, however, once she realized she was not going to get her way with what she wanted her language and tone changed to one of abusiveness. She hung up the phone that day and I never heard from her while she was alive again. She had wanted to move almost 1100 miles to live with me, a college student at the time, and my new baby. She said she wanted to take care of the baby while I was in school and we could live together.
         Months before that conversation she had ridiculed me and said some unpleasant things about my forthcoming child and myself being unwed.
         Her diagnosis shortly after I was removed from her custody was that of Paranoid Schizophrenia. After my father's passing her behavior had become more and more unpredictable. Her moods would swing and she could go from being aggressive to very passive with her sitting in a corner talking to a baby doll that we kept in a basket for her in her room. From the time Dad had crossed and family had left, I had had to take up the adult reigns and then some in our home.
         With those memories and my understanding of her, I knew having her in my home with my new baby was a danger for all of us. My telling her all those years later I would help her to find a home where she could be near us and we could visit was not what she wanted. Regardless of how I tried to tell her we could make things comfortable and her have all that she needed with a little work would do for her. No amount of discussion would change her mind and that day in November she angrily hung up and we never spoke again.
         Here I was with the ultimate decision in front of me. Life and death – it doesn't get any clearer than that. For well over an hour I walked the pavement throughout my neighborhood. The next two days my heart and soul came to their conclusion.
         After much soul searching and some discussion with two dear friends I made the decision. I had called her physician during that time as well asking an array of questions regarding my mother on various topics.
         With my coffee in hand I rang the doctor's personal number and we discussed the situation. He was going to remove the support the next morning.
         Momma passed on a Saturday morning. My wonderful daughters around me after I received the news. My tears were for so much that day, for her crossing over and the relief she would have from this life as well as the complete loss of my having a mother of any kind in this world.
         A mother's love for her children knows many forms. It doesn't dissipate or evaporate just because one crosses the ultimate veil. This Momma proved to me just a few weeks later.
         Lying in bed I had been sleeping soundly when I felt something in the room. I awoke in that darkish room to see my mother standing at my bed. I sat upright and looked at her as she looked at me. She spoke no words she just looked at me. As I turned to switch on a light she disappeared.
        She was free from all this life had dealt her and her love for me brought her to my bedside one more time. She stood there just as she had when I was quite small and she not so very unwell. Momma came to check on me one last time. Thank You Momma <3

Sunday, December 7, 2014

It's not the date that counts, but the feeling....Our Thanks Giving Day today

    Today was my, or better yet, our Thanks Giving Day.  I know for many today is Pearl Harbor Day, but for me and mine it is Thanks Giving Day because well we couldn't have our day “on the date” because the power was out, and stayed out until Friday evening, the 28th.  By that time and the weekend time remaining it was catch up time for me.  Catch up with friends, family, and household duties that otherwise were unable to be done because of no power available.  For me no power also meant no water... Not the easiest time to fix a big meal and then clean up, right?
    So why today? Why not forget about it and just skip it?
    For me it is a Ceremony that takes on more meaning tonight than that day usually does.  Today I AM thank-full we could eat a lovely turkey meal – Turkey, dressing with roasted carrots and parsnips – YUM!  Today it felt right. 
    Last night I realized in the bottom of my frig was the little bird I had bought just before the storm, not realizing what was to come.  The date was clear and if not now, then it either went into the freezer or needed to be tossed out.  Food and money for food having been so precious to me over the last few years, the last option was NO option. 
    So last night into the crock pot my youngest daughter gave me went the turkey.  Yes it was a bit of a squeeze.  Even with my buying the smallest bird I could find it was still like trying to put a size 8 bum into a size 3 pair of jeans.  (I know I've tried that, let's just say breathing and bending were serious issues that day) However, with putting the bird on high for an hour, it reduced down enough for me to close the lid and set it on low for the night. 
    When I awoke this morning turkey cooking scented the air.  As Mr. Weasley dozed mid morning I opened the lid and looking over saw his little pink nose wake enough to sniff the air in expectation.  That orange Tabby still doesn't miss a thing at ten years old!  Noodles was perched next to the crock pot most of the day.  I could say it was for warmth but honestly I think at fourteen he still has the anticipation of a kitten at times!
    Just after noon I turned the machine off and let it cool a bit.  I tasted it to make sure all was ok by just pinching off a small bit at the front.  All was good.
    As I sat here late this afternoon many thoughts filled my head and heart.  Gratitude for many things floated through my mind.  It may be colder than I would like, but we are warm enough in Safari.  It may not be what I had envisaged for my first New Hampshire winter in 35 years, but we have a place, food, warmth, clean clothes, kitty and puppy cuddles galore as well.  What more could I really need tonight?
    After feeding the babies their nightly treat, I started on my meal as usual.  When I put together the dressing and veggies for the oven, I turned on the crock pot for a while.   The scent began wafting through Safari again.  Noodles nose twitched.  As I dished out my meal, Buddy's eyes widened and he gave me some serious butt wiggles in anticipation and excitement and all feline eyes were glued to what Momma was doing.  Noodles being the biggest hurdle to getting my meal actually on the plate with him trying to get into it first!
    Sitting down I held the plate for a moment and Thanked Creator for such a wonderful meal and everything that went into it.  I thanked those who grew the veggies, the points I could think of as my feline felonious assault team began to close in on me and my plate.  Buddy just watched from his comfortable spot on the settee.  Midway through my meal as I ate slowly, I had to change seats so that I could finish due to cats invading my territory and attempting to invade my plate as well.  OH they think I'm a softy they do!
    As I finished the slow comforting meal, I divvied up the last of the turkey into small feline and canine portions.  Then each fur baby had their nibbles.  It is a time one cannot help but share with those one loves and my fur babies were naturally there to share. 
    Now we are each reclining, dozing or just relaxing when as it should be.  Yes for us it is Thanks Giving Day... There is so much to give Thanks For, we made it, and the best is yet to come.

Sunday, November 30, 2014

The Decision to Go...

         Mom and I were driven to the hospital by the local pastor of the Methodist Church, who was also the Emergency services Chaplain. After the ambulance left with sirens blaring and lights fully on we were told it was a good sign it meant they'd gotten a heart beat back. I prayed all the way to the hospital he would be OK, but deep down I knew what that feeling had meant. He was gone.
         The youngish ER doctor came into the waiting room with his scrubs and white coat. His brownish hair tussled a bit and stethoscope hanging from his pocket. Pastor G, Mom and I had been waiting a good while for news about Dad. I couldn't fully control my tears, try as I might I could not control them on the four mile drive to the hospital or in the waiting room.
          As the doctor began to speak, I could tell the news wasn't good. He went through this long explanation and the big words “myocardial infarction” which from all the reading I had done I knew meant heart attack. The doctor explained that whilst they were able to get Dad's heart going for transport, he was in fact DOA. They had worked on Dad in the ER, but gave up far past the time they would normally have done, that is why the doctor took so long coming out to us. Once he was done, I asked “Did Daddy suffer at all?” and he said no, probably he was gone before his head hit the snow. I thought back to those minutes working on Dad and that just didn't feel right to me at the time. I tried to dismiss the feelings, but couldn't.
          Now I see it as I have learned over the years. No Dad didn't suffer. He was probably unconscious as his head hit the snow but he was still tethered to his body and life at that time.  Somewhere between those minutes and when I was working on him, he or Creator and he decided it was time to go.
        Sometimes we're given choices on when we can go, sometimes we know best in that realm that no matter how much we want to stay for our loved ones, it's really best for everyone that we go to the other side, crossing that eternal veil. We here might not always see it that way, but I know from what those on the other side have told me over the years, this is a decision many face at that time.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Energy Buzz - Full Moon, Lunar Eclipse and Mercury Retrograde!!!!!

        The last few days I've been working towards focusing, focusing and yes, FOCUSING!  The cycles of the moon really do affect us and the more sensitive we are, well the more apt we are to be zapped by these influences in some way or other. 
        Normally I can focus, ground and keep going pretty well.  However, this time it has been a big zap! My sensitive friends that I have spoken with of late have mentioned it too.  It is affecting us in different ways but all of us are feeling the affects.
        You might be thinking "So this doesn't ever bother me. What's the big deal?" or "Oh hun am I feeling it too! What can I do to ease things a bit?" 
         Well, if you, like me for years, didn't believe these things affect you, I suggest you look at your personal history.  Have there been any big bumps in the company, your crew at work, traffic problems, headaches, fatigue, irritability, insomnia, nervous energy?????  Are your animals going full speed and then become lumps on the rug and don't act as they usually do? What electronic snafu's have you had the last few days, did this happen at other times and WHEN?
         "How can we help ourselves," that is the key question we can ask at this time.  Firstly we need to take stock of HOW this energy is affecting us.  I'll use my week as an example...
  1. Electrical system down for a short while and had to temporarily fix
  2. Posting images on FB was NOT happening this morning and a few other times as well
  3. My fur babies have been a bit bonkers to put it nicely
  4. Craving sweets, and I mean sweet sweets, not my usual cup of tea in that one
  5. At night I'm so tired I forget to do the regular things, my eyes are drooping far before their normal time
  6. More than normal scattered thoughts (If my thoughts were a ping pong ball on a championship table would they be!)
  7. Vertigo, as if the room and area outside is off just a few degrees
  8. Feeling the need to ground and shield more than normal
         So what does one do?   The first thing I do is relax about it and let the frustrations go.  Sometimes I do this with a guided meditation or a walk outside with Buddy or alone.  This helps us to put our energy in a different place very easily.  I practice shielding as often as I feel something cropping up in the emotional category and ask my Guides and Angels for backup too. 
        This is an energy transforming time so if my body feels like it's drooping and I can rest, I take 5 minutes or so and just close my eyes and rest.  If I can't rest I gather my internal energy and give it a little push with the help of Mother Earth and the connection there (we all have this by the way). 
        The cravings I give into a little bit on the healthiest way I can do so.  Home made bread and a bit of real jam or a small piece of something I've made.  Hey it's not all that bad to have this.  Those cravings are there for a reason and perhaps your body needs something the craving represents.  I choose fruit or similar normally but if my body is craving I feed that knowing I can transmute what is needed and the rest will work itself through.
        Shielding when I'm near others or even talking to someone on the phone is a very big need right now.  I do this every time as soon as I feel the need.  Just picturing a wonderful bubble around me in whatever colour I need keeps all the energy flowing the right way. 
        These things I hope have helped you a little bit.  I know it's helped me today to share them with you!  I'm off now to take a wee walk and then get back to writing a bit more.

Blessings and have a great day

Saturday, October 4, 2014

Mediums Are Born, Not Made.... The beginnings

Part of me feels an internal need to move through and write things down.  Perhaps it is the affects of Mercury Retrograde already taking their hold or something else deeper within my being.

After all the clearing and cleansing I've been doing these last few years, perhaps it is a way to let the last of things go.

This is part of the reason for my posting these here on my blog at least....

So here we go..... In the Beginning ;)

        In the heart of New Hampshire, the capital of that lovely state, I was born in the early 1960's. The beginnings of winter had descended on my Mother and Father's village when that evening as I recall my Mum's words now, they had been watching TV and labor with me started. My mother's only child and my father's fourth and only daughter was well on her way. I must have been determined even then as her waters broke all over her favorite chair and labor started.
         If it really is true that we choose the family of our birth for lessons in this life time, my birth was to send me into a life that has done just that. Lessons that have been often hard in understanding, however, they have made me who I am today and for that I am so very grateful.
         Back in the 1960's there were no definitive tests for the sex of a child. Years later my father had told me he had always wanted a little red haired girl. That cold November morning he got his wish.
My mother on the other hand I feel wanted a boy. She was brought up in the times where a girl child was not as “special” as a boy child for a woman. In some ways it was almost a status that a woman had produced a fine and healthy son. Oh don't get me wrong she loved her little redhead as best she could, but in years to come that desire of hers enveloped our little world in some of the most bizarre ways.
         In the wee early hours of a newly Sagittarius morning I was born. That Sagittarius sign would do me well over the years as well as create many lessons. My father had just returned home I remember him telling me on doctor's recommendations as he thought “it would take a while.” I started arguing with doctors at a very early age because no sooner had my father come home than he received a call saying I was almost there. So he dawned on his coat and hat for the journey back from Boscawen to Concord on old route 3 on a very cold dark morning.
         With my mother sedated and my father waited for me to be shown off by the nurses at the giant nursery window. At almost 50 my father got his wish, a healthy orange topped baby girl weighing in at just over six pounds. I don't know how he felt exactly in those early morning hours. I have no idea what he was thinking on the drive back to the hospital knowing this Brown child was well on her way. All I know is that he bought a box of cigars with “It's a Girl” emblazoned on the wrapper and still had two of them until his passing almost exactly 14 years later.
        My father at nearly 50 and my mother almost 31 had their blessing. With the name of Ada May for both of their late mothers, I went home a week later. When they brought me home, pictures began to be taken on every occasion. Some in the most classic of forms, with baby bum in the air. Early on I was doted upon as most babies are in their early lives.
         According to my parents' stories I was full of energy from the get go. My mother was so astonished on how early I took my first steps that she called my father at work to tell him. He came home later that evening to see me get up from the blanket on the floor and toddle over to him a few feet away. From that point on there was no stopping me. I remember one of my parent's favorite tales of our trip to Hampton Beech when I was just over one year of age. My mother and father took their eyes off me for just a moment and zoom, I was off to see what the waves were doing as they started to rush in. My father, was very agile thankfully and saved me from a ducking, albeit I was kicking and screaming a bit as I wanted to see that waves!
         The pictures show us in our initial home with smiles on everyone's faces. Family visiting and holding the munchkin that was me. My one grandparent, Grandpa Earl, playing with me as he held me. Our small two bedroom home, extended and added to by my father before my birth, was warm and happy that first year or so.
         It wasn't long after my birth that Dad had the moving bug and sold that little house. We moved into a home in Penacook which one I'm not exactly certain as the years fade memories.
         This was not to be the first move, but one of many in my early growing years Dad with his series of moving itches as well as financial woes had us move from house, to apartment on many occasions. The third home we had in my short two years of life was an apartment on the bottom floor of a set of flats. The brown outer shingles covered the building. My play area was the empty parking spaces between the land lords' home and the apartments.
         It was a move to a set of flats in Penacook, across from the old Tannery, which was still in operation at the time, that my parents began to realize my unique abilities. This set of flats was unfortunately the scene of a murder just over a decade before. The crime scene was that of my mother’s mother, my grandmother Ada Mae.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Grandfather Wisdom

Over a year ago I read for a lovely lady and her late grandfather who passed at over 100 years of age.  He was the most wonderful teacher and an amazing soul to come through.  He is a truly amazing, honorable and gracious being and I cherish the memories of the reading I was graced to give.
In that reading at the very last he said to us, in life one needs to keep the joy inside that much like a little child seeing a grasshopper in the garden.  He gave me such vivid imagery of watching a tiny one giggling over a grass hopper jumping.
That same night I was amazed at what happened...
On push mowing the center part of my garden today (about a 1/4 of an acre) I saw all the beautiful daisy like little wild flowers that had popped up. I was thinking about the old man in spirit I read for the other week how he said grand father wisdom and the joys in life to be like that of a little child. Then all of a sudden, a grasshopper appeared, right there where I was about to step. It was the ONLY grass hopper I saw today. I picked it up and perched it on my finger as we walked to where I had mown, it just looked at me as it sat on my fore finger. I sat down with it for a moment or two just watching this amazing sign come to life...Grandfather wisdom paid a visit that day. A day I had so much needed a boost in my spirits.
That day I think that wise and wonderful grandfather knew I needed that boost and am thankful still for that wonderful old teacher in Spirit. Now I give it to you to carry for today and tomorrow ♥
BTW the daisy like flowers I cut by hand and had a full sink full of flowers I cherished for over a week for.  Too precious a gift to mow over!

Thank you for reading this and have a wonderful day!!!
Blessings, Ada

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

A Chipmunk or Was it?

Yesterday I took a walk down the old dirt road to be closer to Creator in Nature.  I was experiencing some of the after affects of releasing the energy on Sunday and it was the down of that energy release.  There are other factors as well, such as winter coming soon and my finding a home for me and the furbabies before winter.  Living in my motorhome has it's advantages but Winter weather in NH isn't one of them!

My mind needed to clear and I knew I needed to ground more.  Earlier in the day I had pulled a few Ascended Masters cards for myself and one of them confirmed what I was feeling - Get Out In Nature.  So late in the afternoon I did just that. 

The woods in this area I have felt a connection to as well as the presence of other entities.  It wasn't long before I felt energies from the original inhabitants of this land as well as a farmer who must have lived here before.  The fairies greeted me with fireflies the night I arrived.  My friend saying to me I've never seen the fireflies do this before.  I've felt the wee folk here as well as the fairies.  The animals I talk to whether they are chipmunk, owl, rabbit or any of Creators beings.  That being said, I've had a particular joy and several conversations with a few chipmunks in the area. 

As I walked down that dirt road, I was so happy to see hoof marks from a horse also having taken this path.  My jaunt took me further along the road filled with beautiful tall pines, oaks and birches all around.  As I passed the pond on the right I heard children's voices a bit in the distance.  People slowed down as they saw me and were probably surprised at seeing this tall red head on their lonely road where few cars go. 

The air changed its scent the further I went.  The greens in their various states were so soothing to my soul. 

As I came to one area I heard the sound of running water.  A sound my soul had been longing to hear.  As I peered down the hill to my left I could see the small ravine but no water.  That sound drew me to its source as my soul found its connecting point.  A few hundred yards up the road was a lovely little stream.  The sounds of the small water falls soothed my aching energy and I felt as if I had walked into a holy place. 

There was a little bridge spanning the creek.  On either side Trillium berries were bursting their bright red colours to contrast the green around me.  Caps of mushrooms on either side of the water were imitating dancers with lovely parasols in purple, orange and white.  At first I hesitated then went down the path to where I could be closer to the water.  It felt like a hallowed place.  Someone had built a little area for enjoying this spot a bit further on.  I stayed away from that area and just concentrated for a few moments connecting with Creator in this hallowed spot. 

As I started my return walk I said aloud "Creator I'm going to need some miracles on this." It felt like another release in a small burst of energy releasing to God I knew I needed help.  Back up the little hills and valleys I walked and as I did so I started saying "Thank You" to Creator for all that I saw and that was part of my life.  With deep gratitude I felt the wonder of that small stream and finding it that day. 

As I returned to the small part of the road that is paved I took delight in thinking about the stone walls surrounding many of the properties in this area.  When the original settlers moved here they imitated the hedges of their native England by building stone walls around their property from the stones they found clearing and tilling the lands.  Many of these almost ancient boundaries still exist today. 

As I was looking at the various stones in these walls I saw a glimpse of bright white light skirting around the top.  Less than two seconds later a cute little chipmunk appeared on the other side of that same stone.  I looked at this little being slightly surprised.  I then felt something and began speaking to it "Are you a real chipmunk or someone pretending to be a chipmunk?" At that moment it turned from a sideways profile and to look directly at me.  She or he reached out one tiny paw and opened her mouth with a chirp.  I grinned and said "Don't worry I won't harm you wee folk or chipmunk, I won't harm you." With that there was a high pitched squeaking sound and off into the rocks she went. 

That bright flash of light and my gut feelings have me still wondering now... "Who was that chipmunk?"

Clearing The Energy Out - Sometimes You Just Have to Let Go and Let God

Sometimes you just have to let go and let God. 

Sunday was one of the most profound clearings in my personal energy I have ever experienced.  After a few moments of coming to a realization and saying to myself, Creator, my Angels and Guides "OK time to clear this out!" As I sat here in my chair, all of a sudden, downloads of information on how things connected with this energy moved through my mind and soul.  After a few minutes, I felt lighter by 20 pounds.  It was as if some huge hairy coat I had been wearing for years, decades actually, slipped off my back and shoulders and evaporated into nothing.  I could have danced if I had had the space!!!!

Sometimes we want things cleared like a flower opening one petal at a time.  Sometimes we let certain things all go the first time.  We may be clearing energy by ourselves, with a healer or counselor.  Creator and our Angels are always working with us no matter how we go about it though.  We may want it out, out, out NOW but all things in Creator's time.   Our Souls, which are always in direct alignment with hearing Creator, know when to push our being and when and how to slip that energy from our entire being and let it go.

My being an over thinker tends to get in the way of clearing my personal energy.  This is why I found that when I let things perk within my being and ask Creator "How?" wonders and miracles appear. What I did was I ended up just turning it over to Creator for the thinking part.  The results have been nothing short of astonishing and amazing for me and it took me all day yesterday to let the downloads come through and process out the energy.

When I gave up the rationalizing of things and said the other evening "OK God HOW do I clear this?" "How do I make more things happen here?" There were a few more "How" questions than that, but you get the general drift.  I then proceeded to go off to bed and let things perk as I call it.  That's when I just give it to God and My Soul Self to work it out.

Oh did it Work!  Like a few other times in my life it was absolutely amazing. 

One thing I learned a long while ago, is that anytime you clear an energy pattern, especially a deep one, you can expect physical, mental and emotional changes in yourself and sometimes your environment.  My having to take a very long nap after this joyous release makes me want to share a few things with you that you may not know.  Here is a short list of what you may experience in clearing energy at times:
  • You can experience tingling sensations in your arms, legs, neck and other areas of your body.  You can have heart palpitations.  
  • You can feel very tired shortly after a clearing and just have to take 40 winks.  
  • You may experience a bit of sadness after the high of the releasing this no longer needed energy or feel happier than you have been in ages.  
  • On the earthly side of things you may hear from someone that you have not seen in quite some time, this too is an energy release.  It's a chance to finish and release whatever emotions you may hold that are not for your highest good.
  • You may feel thirsty or hungry for certain foods
  • You may cry for what feels like no apparent reason
  • You can feel stomach upset, sweating or vision difficulties for a day or so after a clearing
Many of these things you don't read about in most of the books you may pick up and read.  I certainly didn't and some of the reactions I had experienced left me wondering.  This is why I feel you need to know it too.  This way you can "connect the dots" the next time you have a personal clearing and know that it's all natural and normal.

Love, Light and Blessings, Ada 

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

The After Life of a Ghost Cat

It was a blessing to me to move from the small farm house to a much larger home where my girls and I would have more privacy. Teenage girls can be very close to their mum but we all still can use a bit of privacy in those years. What I hadn't expected with all that room was that we indeed moved into a full house. A full house of Spirit activity that is. It didn't take long before they made their presence known.

The first night we moved in my bed was literally on the floor. I hadn't had the energy the night before to put it on the frame and do all the rest. It hadn't bothered me about the bed as I had slept on the floor before. My cats would adjust to things well enough I knew. My dog was outside and none to happy about that but I had hoped to find a good solution for him and us very shortly.

I woke up after a very heavy sleep feeling cats around me and one on my chest. Bleary eyed I saw a very large fluffy white cat laying on my chest and had a very cold nose touch my face. In my half asleep state, arms still under the covers that chilly morning I thought, “Where did you come from, we don't have a white cat...” I said to this very lovely creature, “Did you get in through the window and find a comfy spot?” All I heard was purring.

I talked to this lovely fuzzy fur baby. Not quite awake still I asked her/him where she'd come from and how had our three cats not taken an exception to her coming in. Not even a meow in an answer.

The sun was coming up I could tell as the bedroom was getting lighter. I went to move my arm and sit up a tad bit to pet this lovely. As I moved, kitty decided to jump off the bed and then as I watched, jumped into nothingness. I had watched this lovely cat literally jump from solid fur baby to nothing in seconds.

At first I thought Oh you were dreaming. Then I looked around the bed for this cat, still not wanting to believe what I had seen. I'd seen all sorts of things in my life, but a cat disappearing in mid jump was a new one for me. My search had me going down the hall and into the kitchen and downstairs bathroom, still no cat.

Thinking about this as I made coffee I knew it had to have been a ghost cat coming to call on me early that morning. It was just one of the Spirit cats we saw during our three years in that house. I would often see them out of the corner of my eyes walking around my legs. Papers would fall from my desk at times with no one visible.

Ah the after life of ghost cats... It must be fun.

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Saving a Turtle in the Middle of the Road.... Just for Today

Sometimes we run later than we would like in our day, and it gets to be a bit frustrating.  When this happens to me I do my best to step back and remember things aren't always in my time but Creator's time.  Many times in my life has being able to remember that been a great help. 

A few things this morning ran me a bit behind the schedule I had set in my head.  I sat down after doing dishes, laundry and hoovering and realized, again, that it was a schedule that was only in my head, it could be changed with a thought.  Once I did that my frustration left and I just finished up the few things I needed to do before heading out for groceries.

I'm currently living on roads that are twisty and turny, with many trees and few houses around.  Sometimes this means people drive as if they are on a race track.  Getting closer to town sometimes it's not much better even with heavier traffic.  That must be what happened to the little turtle I found in the road.  Remember Creator has ways of making things happen and had I been earlier as planned, well I wouldn't have been there to find her...

She or he was upside down in the first half of the lane I was on.  I saw her but with a car and a truck bearing down on my bumper all I could do was slow down, turn around and go back.  More looks from people as if I was a lost nutter from somewhere heretofore never heard of place.  I looked at the turtle and thought she's can't have survived that... She was upside down, blood was on the too hot pavement and she wasn't moving any of her 7 inch body.  I thought to myself at least I can move her and let her body rest.

I pulled over and parked my vehicle.  Watching for would be race car drivers, I went out and picked her up.  Much to my surprise was a wonderful big hissing sound coming from this little 7 inch snapping turtle!  YAY I thought!  She's got a chance! Her shell was cracked but the bleeding had stopped. She had a wound on her front leg but was moving as I picked her hissing fussiness up. 

When I got to the truck I looked at Buddy and thought "Oh my, he's not going to like the turtle" as he loves to bark at even feisty squirrels.  So I opened the back and cleared a little basket with an apron I had in there.  I told her to relax that I would find the safest spot. 

Not knowing the road well I have to keep an extra eye out for everything and just a few hundred yards up the road was a spot I could pull into and deposit "Ms. Turtle" safely.  As I set her down gently near a muddy area so she could have moisture coming back into her body.  The Arch Angels I called for help for her and the other four foots on these roads as I left. 

Yes, some of you may think I was heartless to leave an injured turtle in the woods near mud.  My reasons for doing this are thus: It was a Saturday afternoon and being new to the area looking for a rehab or similar in the heat of my vehicle would have killed her for sure.  Turtles may not move quickly but reptiles don't always do well under extreme stress so finding her a cooler quiet place in Nature versus possibly over stressing her even more - a certain death sentence - made more sense.  Animals are often injured in the wild and recover.  Yes some don't but some do recover.  Creator has ways with this we don't always understand.  Having rehabbed animals myself I know it's all in Creator's hands....

Now that I'm home, I was looking through my older blog posts and found this.... Somehow it seems to fit today... Blessings, Ada

Just for today
Just for today I'm going to concentrate on today.
Just me and my little part of the Universe...
Just for today I'm going to do my best not to worry about tomorrow...
I may not be perfect at it today but tomorrow is always 24 hours from now...
Just for today, I'm going to treat others as I want to be treated
 with love, kindness and compassion
Just for today, I'm going to do my best to understand that someone else may be going through a tough time...
Just for today, I'm going to I'm going to acknowledge they are just human too....
Just for today, I'm going to know I too am human and take it easier on myself...
Just for today, a little prayer I'll say for those whom I will never meet, but hurt none the less
Just for today, the person who cuts me off on my exit I'll ask for their safety in place of an explitive
Just for today, the man holding the sign "will work for food" I'll say a prayer at the very least and at the very  best give a good meal, even if it's just a sandwich
Just for today, I'll let someone close to me know how much they are loved, in words and deed
Just for today, I'll forgive myself and someone else
Just for today, I'll find some joy in my life and then share it with loving grace
And JUST FOR TODAY I'll put a little more humane in human, reaching beyond me yet within me, reaching towards the Divine...Who is always within reach today...

Blessings, Ada

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

I Felt Him Go - How one part of my journey began...

The day before my father passed had been one of those great days in a kid's life, Thanksgiving and my birthday. Every so often I was very lucky with a cake and feast for my birthday and this year was one of those lucky years.
My mum had been unwell as long as I could remember. Her illness progressed as I grew older. There weren't many things she could do on a regular basis, but bless her, she did manage Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners with a bit of help from me and at times from Dad, even if it was only to remind her of timing for things.
We had the turkey, and all the fixings. Cake was dessert and Dad had bought a vanilla sheet cake with big blue roses, my favorite colour.
We had a simple evening as they watched TV in the living room and I in my room. The small flat suited us even though it was a dramatic change from the big Victorian home we'd lived in a few years prior.
The next morning Dad was as usual up early his coffee mug and plate on the counter from his early breakfast. This morning I heard him using the shovel. Scrambling out of bed with the thoughts of no school for Monday, I put on my robe and looked out the window. Little did I realize there definitely would be no school for me on Monday.
He came in after a while and saw me on the living room floor working on signs for his shop downstairs. We exchanged "Good Morning" and rather than him having his second cup of coffee for the morning he went back to shoveling. He was a stubborn and independent man, and wouldn't wait for the property owner to come with the snow blower when he could do it in a morning. Years doing just this for his own properties must have been strongly engrained within him.
A little while later as I was getting ready for a shower, I heard the worst scream I've ever heard in my entire life, even up to today, decades later. It vebrated through me as if the world was tearing apart. My mother was standing in the doorway at the back of our first floor apartment. Dad's feet were all I could see from my vantage point. My mother stood lifeless and catatonic in the doorway.
As soon as I reached Dad I started CPR, I knew he wasn't breathing as he was starting to go blue. That was the first day of my life that I used language I had been forbidden to use. Screaming for the neighbors to get an ambulance with every colourful metaphor I could remember hearing I kept at it. Breath - then 1,2,3, 4,5... Breathe- over and over again.
People were gathering at the end of the block but no ambulance yet, so I ran upstairs passing my mum still in her catatonic state and called rescue myself. Back out I ran 1,2,3,4, 5 BREATHE...over and over
Then it happened, although it was a cold New Hampshire morning with over a foot of new snow on the ground I hadn't felt a thing, no cold, nothing just the need to act. This I felt, the cool calm breeze, the peacefulness, the gentle loving adieu. In a split second that seemed ages, something had changed. Part of me could see it and I definitely could feel it. Deep down I knew. My panic that day started then and not until then. You see that was the second Dad "Died."
My Dad left me with one last present that day which would take me over twenty years to understand fully. It would take over twenty years to work through the guilt, questions and self inflicted wondering. Today I see it as a Wondrous gift. It is a gift I will carry with me all the days of my life because you see -I felt him go.

Monday, June 16, 2014

Let the Digging Begin - Sourcing the Fears

With the intent on “getting over” my extreme fear I set out journaling and as I call it digging. With everything I wrote however, there seemed to be a blockage, somewhere inside of me, a portion of me didn't want to dig it up and let it go. The changes I've decided to take are monumental for me and I really had stepped way out of my comfort zones doing this. No wonder I had had those things coming up for me. 

I did the normal thing of procrastination for a few hours the first few days. Almost all of us do the procrastination nation thing when we KNOW something has to be looked at, sorted or changed. Oh I've done it time and again, finding other things that “have to be done” and doing those in place of the real necessity at hand. It's like fixing the barn door but the rest of the barn is in shambles... doesn't make sense but we all do it at one time or another. 

Then I set out with even more desire to move things along. I couldn't just sit there forever no matter how wonderfully serene that place was. I have a life to live and just sitting there holding that fear within me wasn't going to get me to my dreams. I listened to meditations, talked to a friend and wrote like mad. Little by little the chips began to fall into place once I sent her something I'd written a few months back. 

Most of my life I had lived a life of fear, not faith. Only in the last decade had I started working on more faith and less fear in my life. The last few of these years have been monumental lessons for me in having faith. This deep seeded faith and understanding all was working out in Divine timing, Creator's hand at work and what I needed was to let loose the cords at their roots. 

One thing I'll mention here I've learned from my indegenous friends over the years as well as from watching elders speak via video is if you see something three times in quick succesion in your life PAY ATTENTION! There is a correlation to what you are seeing in your outside world and what is going on in your inside world. I was seeing this three times, once in myself, once in my partner and another in a friend. 

As I dug I looked at things from various angles. From the back of my Safari I found my mothers old photo album, which I was prompted to do by an internal dialogue. I looked it over and realized how very few pictures of me as a growing child there were, almost all of them were of me as a tiny baby and small toddler. In there I found a business card of my Dad's. It has to be well over 45 years old and with an address I didn't recognize. I then went to the web and looked at my home town. It brought me back to the flats we'd lived in when I was quite small. We had lived there for a couple of years and that is where many things with my intuitive side started. 

Until a few years ago I hadn't had all the pieces to put together with regards to many of my life events as a child. It started coming together the year my mother died. It was then my aunts and uncles gave me their time and understanding on events that had occurred long before I was born. This apartment block was at the center of those events. They were the scene of my grandmother Ada's murder 54 years ago. 

My family neither my mother nor my father knew anything about energy. They didn't know about thought, feeling, imprints, spirit energy or other things I've learned over the years. What made my father move us to those flats I'll never know other than probably money being tight. That was a concurrent theme in my growing up years. They weren't the most up market apartments in the area to say the least. The old couple that ran them had done so for ages and my family was on very friendly terms with them that old photo album even has pictures of them and the flats. By his moving his little family band to those flats, many things started in my life, not the least of which was my budding psychic abilities. 

There in those flats at the age of two I remember seeing and feeling things that would make me hide under beds, in closets and where-ever I could find space to hide. I'd always remembered hiding from something but it wasn't until decades later as an adult I would let myself understand why. It was there that I knew before my parents my Grandfather Clyde had died. It is there that I learned I had to stop seeing what I was seeing as it had tough results for my mother. It was here too that she started taking me to every church in town. 

At some point she called the local Methodist Minister to “baptize me” and I remember locking myself in the bathroom so that no one could get to me. The undercurrent was an energy I like feeling even to this day. The tall dark haired pastor in his black robes he donned on with the white collar didn't set a loving vibe in this tiny redhead at the time so I locked myself in that old very pink tiled bathroom. 

As I dug through my memories and more those days, I also asked Creator “How” on many points. I did this to activate the energy from within as well as that which is always around us. If we ask “Why” to Creator as we go through life it is an inactive, supplicant role we take in life. However, if we use “How” we then take a more active part in our journey. We then with asking “How can I/we see this more clearly” or “How can I do more of this” “How can I release this _______ energy even more” we then give the green light to both Creator as well as ourselves to make it so, more and more. 

The second to the last night there I sat next to the pond late, after the birds had taken their resting spots for the night. The moon was almost directly over head, my long skirt and bare feet touching Mother Earth. There in the darkness and serenity of the evening around me I asked Creator “How” on many things. I asked Mother Earth, my Angels and Guides, as well as Creator that night feeling within me an attuning, a sacredness of what I was doing, in asking for Guidance. 

As I went to drive out two mornings later I had a shift within myself. As I heard words from what I've listened to in the past guide me, shifts within me were occurring. I could feel it intently.
From there I drove on to my next stop. The fear I had felt was no longer there anywhere close to what it had been. It was almost completely gone. I kept saying my affirmations (and still do!) and kept asserting that the signs I had been given regarding safety, peace, unfolding and time for self were spot on for this time in my life. 

My new destination has a lovely little pond filled with giant gold fish. (you can call them Koy, to me they are giant gold fish) The bull frogs are talking as Buddy and I walk by. The cows in the field adjacent to the RV park are wonderful to hear. Creator has led me to the right place for the next steps in my journey in more ways than one.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Digging a Little Deeper

            After the shop was finished with my tires and all the rest that those wonderful folks checked I left the shop knowing I didn't have a lot of energy in me for a longer drive. What I didn't realize at the time was just how worn out and tired I was, not from just the previous day, but also from all the things that had gone on in my life the months before.
           As I drove I coaxed myself to the next stop, an RV park that was supposed to be peaceful with a little duck pond. It was only a few miles up the road and I kept coaxing myself as well as counting down the miles. When I arrived at the exit sure enough, there was the stop over. Driving in I saw ducks with little ones, geese and even two lovely swans with their cygnets.
           I signed in parked up and did the necessary for the RV to have electric and water then collapsed into my chair, exhausted. Two days I had paid for in advance, little knowing I would need almost a week to recover, rest and root out issues of fear deep within me.
           Once evening set in I opened the windows and smelled the scent of honeysuckle in the air. After assuring my wonderful other half I was OK and we said good night, I went to the back and fell asleep for a couple of hours. I woke up late in the evening and did the necessary for our food and took Buddy for his tinkles. Buddy woke me for his tinkles so he had to wait while I found my shoes and got myself together. Out we went to the lovely sound of ducks and geese bedding down for the night.
           The following morning I took another bath having had one the evening before and thanked Creator for the water flowing in my little shower/tub unit. I thanked Creator for getting me to that spot as it felt so very restful. I did dishes and watched the fur babies take their spots for the day.
           I called and messaged a few friends, then went to the back and had another good sleep for a couple of hours.
           It was after that kip I realized just how tired I was. Each day I took as it came, my nerves were on edge at the thoughts of getting Safari on the road again. This I knew had more than the blowouts that I had experienced the last two weeks. This was something more it was deeper and I had to “go digging” as I call it.
           For me, I use journaling and allow my inner self to talk. I write down whatever comes to mind. There are many ways to work with and through these deep seated emotions, thoughts and feelings we have within us. For me however, it starts with journaling and from that point I'll be drawn to meditations, mp3 programs by amazing teachers I have on hand or a book in the bookshelves, it may also come in the form of being drawn to a friend or mentor with their aid to the ready.
It was with this intent I set out to clear, dig and root out. This time I needed a really good pitch fork and a bit of extra umph because her roots were deep, life long in fact.

Friday, June 6, 2014

Creator's Message in a Little Tennessee Garage

           Thank-Fully the night I slept at the garage I slept reasonably well and for some reason there at the shop I felt safe. There I felt safer than at the up market resort/RV campground that I stayed at the night before. Whilst the view over the water was gorgeous, complete with a few Great Blue Herons flying near and the mountains in the distant being picturesque as they are, the feelings I had I couldn't shake. Even with the many workers present, and there were dozens of workers and security things around, I didn't FEEL safe. However, at that shop the energy around me gave me an incredible feeling of being safe.
             To the rear and side of where my motorhome was parked were three beautiful horses in their pens. When I went to fetch water to have a sponge bath, each horse greeted me and let me give them a rub as I talked to each one. The birds were singing their morning chorus of hello's. The scene was that of a fairly large garage and various diesel vehicles and big rig trailers about. There however I felt safe. The loving care of Ryan and Noreen I think is what has made the difference.
           They pulled Safari into the bay with the pit as they call it. Ryan informed me about half an hour before he thought there was a bad U-joint on her and they were going to have to replace it. At that point I went inside myself on the walk back and said “OK God/Creator you take care of this.” I kept repeating my affirmations and put my trust in Creator that all would work out all right.
           Sitting in the bay, they were kind enough to find me an extension cord for my computer to work as house system was off. Thank-Fully it was cool in the bay and the cats came out for the most part relaxing and making themselves comfortable as cats can do so well. Buddy after trying to get cuddles and pets from the gentleman that brought Safari in the bay has settled down with a good rest.  Here was the time to take a lesson from them, say my affirmations and relax. That's what I did. I wrote various things and did some thinking as well as tae a small nap even with the rata-tat-tat of the air guns and feeling the jacks lifting Safari and us up. Sitting in Safari I'm already over 5 feet from ground level, let me just say here and now it IS an interesting experience knowing you are sitting on 5 ton jacks over a pit that is probably 7 feet deep in places. I was however able to have a good kip for a little while still feeling safe.
            To me there has just been so much happening in my life, too much in a lot of ways. These things have made me think more along the lines of what my teachers from afar have been talking about the last few years. So much to look at and ponder sitting there in the semi dark bay watching the time roll away.
            After a bit of time I noticed one of the other doors to the side of this giant garage open. To the left side over on the hill was a small white church. How interesting I could see that from where I sat in Safari. To me the little church represented faith and trust in the Creator.
             I hadn't a clue whether it was a Baptist, Methodist, Lutheran, Episcopal, Church of Christ, Church of God or any of a number that one may find. Having been brought up with an unclear Judeo Christian back ground (My mum took me to every church in town and only occasionally after I was about 5) however the beginnings of it were there. Later in my teen years well, that's an interesting story or two for another time let's just say it was of the evangelical nature for now. No matter though, that church to me represented a faith in Creator, regardless of the name you wish to use.
              Creator talks to us in all sorts of ways, I saw this little country church and was listening. Faith, this has been what has gotten me through the last few years, sometimes by the tiniest of threads I held on to. When one's life seems to be tipped upside down and sideways, those threads mean the world and then some. We may co-create our world but there is a Creator that has our plan in hand, even if we aren't reading all the blue prints yet. This Church to me said “hold onto the faith” and I did.
             I kept saying my affirmations and sending out the feelings that everything was going to be all right. These amazing men did their work and took their time with it, not the hurried hustling and bustling style we often see today. Creator was at work through these wonderful men. When all was said and done hours later, my bill was a gift from them and Creator of abundance as abundance comes in many ways. I was so happy to give Noreen a hug for all her caring and to thank them for making sure all is well with Safari's systems. With two new tires mounted I headed up the road for a short drive to start recuperating from everything the last few days as well as the last few weeks.
             I was beyond tired in far too many ways. The night before I had found a spot through the web that looked like it would do for a few days layover so that I can get my energy back to what it needs to be to complete the next 800+ miles of this trek I am to drive. It looked lovely on the web and so I counted down the miles and drove Safari to my new resting area. Now for a bit of rest, reflection and asking for Guidance on the next part of my journey, both for on the road as well as for the inner part of me – my soul.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Creator Working Magic

Today I'm so Thank-Full!!!
My journey from Athens, TN to New England started two days ago in some ways and in others it's been much longer. Almost two weeks ago I was delayed because I had two tires blow out as I went to get something I was needing for my trip. The blowouts were within just miles of each other but thankfully the tire repair shop was there and gave me the help I needed.
I left Sunday morning, my nerves on end and I couldn't point out as to why. I just was as nervous as could be and my leaving time was delayed due to my nerves. I drove just under a hundred miles and needed to stop for the day. The A/C isn't working in the front of the motorhome and it was getting to be over 80 inside. My nerves weren't helping as I was sweating buckets. I saw a sign on the interstate saying there was a campground just a few miles ahead off of the next exit. OK I thought, this one's it.
When I arrived there it was a very hilly campground for the roads, but the spots were flat for the most part. However, my nerves were still on end as my motorhome wanted to roll a bit even in park. I couldn't sleep well that night as my spot albeit with a gorgeous view of Douglas Dam, had a slight tip and my motorhome was blocked to keep it from rolling. I finally had to assure myself of what I've been told, Trust, by Creator through various signs and went to bed exhausted.
My nerves were worse the following morning. I couldn't explain it logically. I said to myself, the last time they were this bad I had the double blow out. Well, less than 30 miles later, I had another one.
This one less than a mile from an exit on a very busy interstate highway. Here in the states the motorways can range from 55MPH and upwards. I had already been slowing from my already slower speed when I felt it go.
Thankfully I was close to the exit and inched her, (Safari is a lady motorhome) to a parking lot with a restaurant and a convenience store/gas station. Once I knew we were parked OK, I called my motorclub and help was on the way after a little bit. I'll have to admit, with all the pressures I've felt of late and all the stresses, as soon as I hung up with Ashley of my motorclub, I had a really good cry in the motorhome then and there. A short while later I had another good cry.
Since I was parked in the car park of the chain restaurant I decided that since I'd had little breakfast, now was a good time to eat and went in to order. Buddy my wonderful little dog, shared a little of my meal with me as did Noodles my 14 year old Tomcat. Noodles was already looking around and curious as to where we were now. The other cats were still in their hiding spots.
I finished my meal with only half of it eaten, sipping cold water then another good cry to relieve a little more of what was pent up inside me.
In all of that I was grateful and keep telling Creator, my Angels, my Guides and everyone “thank you!” I'm thank-full because we are all safe.
Then the gentleman arrived from the service and his aid and caring have been truly a huge series of blessings as has his office manager's caring. He sat there with me on the pavement in the shade of Safari and I told him of my nerves and the why's of the older tires. He made a call to the shop and then he lead me all the way to his shop at 20 mph so that I made it safely and having that lead after everything meant the world to me. He introduced himself as Ryan and it wasn't until hours later parked there at his shop I realized he was the owner of the shop. His lovely office manager Noreen and he guided me to a spot at their shop where I could park and and have electric for the motorhome for the night. Their wonderful kindness to a complete stranger, me, is a blessing beyond measure.
I'm thank-full because we are comfortable and able to have cooled air. I have food in my motorhome so we are able to eat. I have water so that I can have tea or water and frozen fruit. There is a water tap near by so in the morning I can have water enough to clean up.
We're safely parked and comfortable, so there is so much to be thank-full for!!
Tomorrow is another day to start and how things will go I don't know, but Creator lead me to just the right spot for what is needed in so many ways.

Sunday, May 11, 2014

The Easel - A Mother's Day Gift for Always

One of the Best Mother's Day Gifts

Over a decade ago my daughters gave to me one of the best Mother's Day gifts I've ever received and I still have it today.
It had been several months since I'd left my second husband and money was tight. Being a colder start to spring meant that my pool business, our livelihood was slow. The previous Autumn we had moved into an old farm house and on the grounds were an old barn as well as other remnants of buildings that had stood a century before.
My working hours were long and my girls knew that I didn't have the means to give them extra for Mother's Day gifts that year. I told them not to worry about it and just to make me a card or something similar. Oh did they surprise me!
I didn't know it at the time, but they had been exploring the property when I had been away at work. We had explored part of the barn together and realized that at one time that property had also sold flowers, plants and other things a typical farm and hot house might sell in days gone by. They in their explorations however had made further discoveries.
Mother's Day came after a long and grueling week of work. I was up about my normal time and had had coffee to hand. The last few days I hadn't been allowed in one of the bedrooms my girls occupied. I had decided to take the sofa bed when we moved in as they needed their privacy more than I did. They took advantage of that fact with my surprise.
They had me cover my face that day. Their surprise all ready. I couldn't figure out what they were up to as I knew that they hadn't had the necessary to buy anything and hadn't been anywhere but school and back. What I hadn't counted on was their resourcefulness, talents and ingenuity.
In the living room they had placed beautifully decorated an old easel they had found in the loft of that old barn. They had taken some of my sand paper and taken the little bits of rust off that old iron easel. They had made flowers decorated it each in their own wonderful ways. They made me cards with their clever hands with more love than my heart could hold. They told me how they had found it and it was a joint effort to bring that big heavy easel down that rickety loft ladder. They talked about being scared of bugs, critters and heights getting it down. But down they brought it and had cleaned and tidied it up, just for me. I began crying happy tears.
They knew how much I loved to draw and paint you see. One of the things I had wanted for many years was a real easel to be able to sit and paint outside or inside. They knew it had been one of my dreams and they brought it into being that day.
Over the years since that easel has had little use, but has been one of my most cherished possessions. When all the hoopla of the last couple of years came to a head this last Autumn and Spring, I decided that that was one of the few things I was going to take with me, one way or the other. I've made myself a promise you see. A promise to let the distractions of life that held me so tightly over the years float away and take more time to enrich my life. Using that easel more often will do just that.
I'm going to paint more and write more. I'm going to enjoy more and do more on a Soul level. I'm giving myself permission to read more and learn more. I'm giving myself permission to do the things I've always wanted to do but never taken the time to do. I'm giving myself permission to do the things that fill my soul more and enjoy my life as I work with The Creator more and more in understanding this.
Many thanks to my three beautiful daughters as that easel is going to be well used.... It's still one of the best Mother's Day Gifts Ever.....

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Water, Colour and Energy

Water, Colour and Energy

Creator has been having me really learn about energy the last few years. I don't mean the kind you get from your electrical socket. I mean the kind that is in everything, everyone, and what emanates from people, animals, crystals, colours, plants, so very much I've been learning! This has been a strong and deep set of lessons in many ways. To me this is the “practicals” part of what I academically knew, but experientially am learning more in depth.
Sometimes when you are a bit stressed and in the middle of things you would rather not have to do, you don't see all of the big picture... That is/was my case, that oooops moment there.
The other day after the water leak(s) were (THANK YOU GOD/CREATOR!!!) finally fixed I woke up after having listened to one of the programs I have on energy the night before. It dawned on me then as I woke up, energy... water = emotional energy that is unresolved. As I semi sat there in bed I realized that the mirrors in the motorhome ALL could reflect one another AND my moods as I slept. The big one behind the bed, the ones in the bathroom all were creating a reflection at/to the water inlet! I also realized that although the bedding that came with the motorhome is LOVELY in colour and design, it has a very frenetic and somewhat chaotic pattern to it - NOT GOOD for someone doing their best to keep and bring calm into things in their life. As soon as I'd had a cuppa, I took the bedspread and shams off and folded them so that colour and pattern didn't show. I then heard my inner voice connection say to get the rose and cream quilt out of the storage bin and on the bed. So I did. As soon as I put it on and stepped back looking at it I heard "Everything's coming up roses" a la Ethel Mermen! I also felt an immediate shift of energy with the change.
To me that was absolutely amazing!!!!
Over the years I have felt the energy in people and animals change and shift often. I've painted rooms in my former home to “change the vibration” and bring in another more healing energy, but this really made me pay attention to the immediacy of things. When I work with clients helping to clear their Chakras I'll often experience with them the lightening of their being when something has cleared. So knowing the changes and shifts in energy can and do occur, this was bringing it to another level of recognition!
After my morning tea and a bath, I also sat down for the first time in ages and journaled out my feelings the last few weeks. It took a while. Deep within me there were feelings of frustration (not just from the plumbing) as well as resentment. I will be honest here and put that to my higher soul self that resentment was akin to what a child might radiate if it didn't get what he or she wanted. That pouty, irritated “but I want it” kind of energy that I knew had to go! When I felt this I remembered the words of a wonderful teacher from a far “I breathe out my desire and I breathe in Creator's desire” as well as “ This or something better in accordance with my highest good.” So I knew this situation was indeed for my highest good. Like you there are times I might not see things as they are presented and only after reflection can I see the positives of that situation no matter how hard I am trying once I am in the throws of it.
This kind of journaling I don't think about, I just write what comes through, which I know is my heart and soul talking. After several cups of tea and pages written, my energy I noticed was definitely shifting! That lightening and alive feeling was flowing in more and more. Those shifts and changes are so vital in our growing process and sometimes they are more pronounced than others. Taking the time to write things down either with pen and paper or through computer is absolutely one way to help you move through the clutter of one's mind and strait to working your way into the heart of soul situation.
After my writing, I stopped and took a good look and FEEL of my motorhome. The energy definitely needed tweaked! I felt each section,looking at it overall situation from an energetic not human standpoint to see what I received impression wise. I've taken the dark greens of my throw pillows out of the motorhome and left only the jade green ones and the pink ones as well. It no longer feels crowded, how interesting. My bedroom now has pinks/lavenders/purples and blues to it, not a bit of green at the moment!
Since that day, I've had more energy, I've also been able to think more clearly, organize myself more and feel more relaxed. This is so very interesting on so many levels. As I said earlier, the in depth practicals of what I've been taught these last many years.
Creator works with us in many ways. I'm glad Creator is having me experience this now. The lessons may not always be easy, but the learning is miraculous!!!!!

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Spirit Lead

This is a journey and an adventure for me. A journey in faith, spirit as well as physically. When it started I cannot be certain of the time. My lessons in energy in its various forms has been years in the making. This all encompassing trek the latest chapter.
Most of you reading this will probably think I'm as mad as a hatter for doing what I'm about to do, and at times I've thought so as well. That being said, sometimes we have to step out of the normal ways of thinking and doing things and grasp the solution that seems like the oddest one in the lot and go with it. That is pretty much what I have done.
As some of you may know, last year I lost my former home to foreclosure. So many of us have had this happen and it continues to happen to so many albeit the news no longer considers this an important headline. Thankfully in my case Creator was “working overtime” and solutions began happening shortly after the foreclosure.
Watch what Creator can do when you put your mind to things and know what you need and/or want and it tunes in with your life purpose. At each step I've been scared in this journey but knew I had to go on and do what I'm doing. I didn't know what to look for in a motorhome. So I watched videos, read forums and articles trying to prepare myself as best as possible. My search lead me on a myriad of motorhomes all over East TN and NW Georgia. Some of them were just too small for my needs, one or two others were “in scrap” condition, some just didn't feel right. When I thought I had found one that would be suitable, my stomach tied in knots and I had anxiety issues like mad. Energy working again, intuitive energy this time. Thankfully, I listened to that intuitive thump I kept getting.
When I declined that one after driving literally hundreds of miles around the area, the one I'm in now cropped up on a listing site. It seemed providential that the puppies I had been fostering were north of this motorhome and I could make both journeys in one.
It was the best I had seen in size, storage and overall condition. It's had some issues I've had to work on, the brakes and tires, thankfully one fellow knew where to find good used tires really reasonably. Water was a big issue last week and in the end called on all the Ascended Masters, Angels, my Dad ( a plumber in life) to fix the situation. Thankfully, they are there as they always were and I have running water again and have had the last few days!
This too was an energy lesson. After the water was fixed, I woke up the next morning realizing the Feng Shui implications of all that had been happening with the water. Water troubles equal emotional issues. I had “lost” my home, my dreams of building a school there were gone. I had moved in here and some dreams of what I had wanted, although perhaps not lost, have been put on significant hold for a while. There was emotional turmoil within me, and the mirrors reflecting that turmoil as well as the original bedcovers helped to amplify it so that the water became a significant issue. The bedspread and shams I removed immediately and put on my old quilt with roses on it, facing up. I immediately heard Ethel Mermen's “Everything's coming up roses” and knew I was on the right track.
These emotions of inner turmoil, I knew I had to change in order for me to move on in here and life more positively. One of the cards I had drawn a few days before this was from the Ascended Master's Deck of Doreen Virtue – it read “Purification” - To purify my thoughts and desires, emotions and energy it turned out. When I drew that card, I thought “Great I always get my butt kicked when that one shows up” and asked Creator “Please no major one this time!” I got what I needed until I understood the lessons. The card was right. One was “drink more water” well water was an issue and I've started drinking more water and fruit drinks of my own concoction.
Energy is in so many forms in our lives. It's not just the electrics in our home or car. It is in our hearts, our thoughts, our souls and our bodies in various forms. Energy is all around us in more forms that I know at the moment or could go into here. As I sit here writing this, I am told there is more for me to discover and learn about over time. A daunting task which I fully accept as I am on this road in life to learn, and hopefully create and aid so that others can learn as well.
My intentions are set for leaving here this week. Where I go from here I don't know yet. Creator is my Guide in all this. My will and intentions are only to find a good place to make a home for my fur-babies and I with all that I dream and envisage, learn, teach, and aid others at the moment. What exactly will happen, I don't know but I know Creator is Guiding me. Spirit Lead.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Clearing Things Deep Within To Move Ahead

With every new year, many folks get psyched up and charge ahead like a bull in a china shop for the new changes. They may work towards any number of goals, but because the results aren't immediate, the energy falters. We may get very frustrated and say things like “Things just don't work for me like that” or “I've been like this for years I was stupid to try to change things now.” The self defeating mode hits high gear at times and we listen to the old tape in our heads. This is when we have to delve into ourselves and clear the energy, clear those thought patterns and behaviors to really make a difference in our lives.  Affirmations are a start, but sometimes we have to go a lot deeper. That is what this last year was about for me in many ways, clearing and healing.

This past year I had to do A LOT of clearing on really deep levels. Things that were thankfully, able to be cleared in a variety of ways. So much healing took place for me this year and really it's just now that I feel I'm really starting to recover from all that was going on for me personally in 2013.

There were some things that came to me with regard to clearings that were totally new to my ways of thinking before this past year. Oh I've smudged, used prayer, oils, etc., but some things that really needed to move out and away I found I really needed the help from others because I personally was too close to the situation to feel things properly. Opening up enough to ask for that kind of help is a biggie for this redhead. I also used crystals of various sorts for the first time this year in big ways. I've used them for little things here and there the last few years, but not really consciously, and not in the ways they were used this past year. I also went into past life regression in a bigger way. I had known for some years that past lives were true, at least for me and some others, however, delving into mine was something I hadn't done a lot of in years past. I have had memories etc., from a variety of times, however, clearing I hadn't done much of. When I found the cords to these I cut them in a variety of ways. I also delved into how our biological lineage plays an important part in who we are in this life and cleared from that vantage point as well. I hope to learn more on many of these things to help others as time passes in the future.

One other thing I did that I hadn't done before is listening over and over again to various videos, recorded radio shows and classes that I'd taken in the past. I love how one of my distant teachers says “repetition is the mother of skill!” While standard learning for our more material world has always come easily, intuitive things haven't in the past. I've really had to experientially learn as well as listen to books, radio shows, videos etc. So this last year I listened over and over and over again. Had these recordings been on old fashioned LP's I would have worn out the records LOL!

I am so very grateful that I did though. You can hear something once and inside our ego driven head, we can say “ok got it, next” but what I've found for me is that there are nuances that one can miss if you don't hear it over again. I've also found that Creator will have me listen to something and then have a similar synchronistic thing to happen in order for me to really get the lesson.

The way I view things is a bit different as I see the things I've gone through as life lessons for me personally as well as teaching tools in the future.

You aren't the only person that has gone through much in the last years. We all have, some just not as open about it and putting on a good face for things to the outside world. It isn't until we delve into ourselves and reach out to others that we can find each soul/person has their lessons, learnings and understandings to go through. Take heart Dear One, open to new ideas, thoughts and let Creator flow through you and with you as you do.

Love and Blessings Always, Ada