Grief, Signs and Holiday Celebrations Just a Few Notes

 

HAPPY THANKSGIVING AND SIGNS FROM OUR LOVED ONES!!!!!!!!
As you go about your holidays here in the states, remember they are going to be with you. Signs can be everywhere and any thing!!!!!

The very first year without my Dad there, the year after he passed, was very tumultuous. If there were signs (other than his wonderful dream visitation) I cannot remember. The rawness of someone’s passing can keep us from being able to see, feel, sense, or hear their signs to us.

Thanksgiving Day here in the states and for those expats who celebrate abroad may be a difficult holiday for you. It may also be a way to celebrate the Loving Person no longer able to be at anyone’s talbe. We do our best to face it during the holidays, but it's never ever easy.

If you are facing grief from the loss of a loved one, the loss of home or job, it's OK to feel how you are feeling at any given moment.

Sometimes we find the ways to remember them with jokes and laughter. Sometimes it’s fond memories of the silly and hilarious times.

From readings I’ve heard Other Side Members tell me of many things. One lady told me of her forgetting to turn on the oven for their dinner. She said “The Bird was Late that year!” with laughter. Then there was the time an aunt told of how she showed up unexpectedly and being a bit on the cranky side was amazed at how good the food was. That’s when she apologized to her nephew’s wife, the sitter. Then there was the time that this lady’s dad was the joker of the family and especially at the table!
There are a lot of ways we can remember our friends, family and furry loved ones – most especially at the holidays.

It’s also time where we could use a little extra patience. Not everyone grieves the same way and it can be hard on us if it appears others aren't feeling the loss too. One key is to acknowledge that you're going to feel and grieve your way and someone else will do the same their way.

I remember after Daddy died my mother’s relations, especially the female ones took to getting things decorated and more for the Christmas time. While I was so surprised, it also made me a little mad too. Uncle, I’m sure by direction of Aunt Eva, gave us a huge tree for the living room. Dad’s had been a smaller tree for a table so that we had more room. Little finishing touches women in that part of the family did and I felt so out of sorts. I know they did it largely for me, however, I was mostly feeling so blank and just going through the motions of things.

It’s OK if you feel that way too.

When my Michael died, I had decorated the tree and put it in the lounge area of our home. He’d crossed over roughly a week before Christmas. The almost 12 months of anticipatory grief had helped me with working through much that came to pass. The snows were heavier that year (and in East Tennessee snow means no go) so my daughters and I talked on the phone and stayed snugged at our respective homes. I made myself and my fur babies a wonderful meal and rested. After nearly a year of being a sole care giver, I needed it too!

It's OK to accept an invitation for a meal and if you don't feel like it, that's OK too. If you need space to work with or not work with things, that’s fine.

Know that you need to take care of you mind, body and spirit if you are going through this most difficult of times in your life